Tag Archives: to do list

the action figure to-do list (each style sold separately)

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so, how does an action figure plan her impossible day? how does she prioritize all of that action, and order it just so, to make it from the bedcave to the blogbridge, through toddler forest and laundry swamp, around the steaming catlitter pit, over employment bluff and on to the peaks of packed and ready? i’ve never seen an action figure make a to-do list. neither the superheroes nor the superhilarious pop-art figures i’ve posed in embarassing yoga positions have ever whipped out a pile of post its, a ring bound notebook, or (blech) an Outlook Task List of Doom. they don’t do it in my real life fantasies or onscreen. perhaps i’m not looking for the right thing…perhaps they have an unacknowledged line to the “cloud,” whatever that really is, and it feeds them all of their regular and spontaneous engagements through effortless, thought-based communication. perhaps they’ve had it for quite some time without mentioning it…maybe they take it for granted…maybe it’s a sister benefit for action figure credit union members.

i still need a to-do list and on this particular day, i need a list of the lists i need. yeah. it will all happen somehow, i know. writing here this morning is an effort to inspire myself and lower the risk of a hair fire. conditions are highly favorable…pretty much all week. in preparation, i’m polishing my Zen-plated shield and collecting jokes and deep breaths with which i can mark my trail. later i will follow them back to my bedcave in time to rest for tomorrow’s intrepid adventures.

i’m a little envious this week of the action figures who can fly themselves instead of using mass transit. i’d take that low-emissions invisible plane any day of the week…or try the cape thingy if i thought that would work…and if i had that thought while not substantively altered. there is some foreshadowing of a possible overbooking problem on the last leg of my commercial flight home…plus, if i could get a designated pilot, i could still sit back and enjoy a cloud-top cocktail…call drinks from invisible liquorette bottles.

i’d like to see how other action figures handle scheduling, if they handle their own at all. the nature of our lives requires spontaneity, flexibility and periods of extended energy. how do they pull it all off, and since pulling it off obviously qualifies as its own superpower, why hide it? why isn’t there some caped crusader at the Hall of Justice with a powerful “E” for Efficient or Executor or Effin’ Organized emblazoned on her chest shield? you’d see her strike through a lifetime of chores in a single sweep of Sharpie, knock procrastination from power with a death ray of accomplishment flashed from sparkling eyes, fit “me-time” and exercise into the most hyperbolically full calendar.

writing that i realize it sounds like a pretty boring power…at least from a spectator’s point of view…but as i stare down into a villainous valley of expectations, deadlines and timekeepers, i have to say i’d be encouraged to discover that superheroine, who obviously supers out remotely, which is why you never see her killing time in the Hall of Justice break room.

action figure daughter is now calling plaintively from the dark of toddler forest. it’s time to get my lists on…over my big-girl superhero underwear…part of the uniform, not an underoos set.

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hey folks…there’s a parade sign up sheet in the back of tomorrow…

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well, the monday funk is cleared from my house and life. the dog seems back in some digestive sorts, the trash is at the curb and i survived the day with some pretty good attitude left over. go figure. apparently life really does run smoother and is more fulfilling if you stop and smell…well…let’s say, “the moment.”

so i’m up early this morning (yay!) like i used to be every day….eyes cracking open in the still-dark moments just before the sounding of an alarm i usually ignore. it’s a perfect way to start a Procrastinator’s Work Day. i wish some of the rest of the world would take the day off..just not the customer service providers i need to accomplish all of the administrative tasks i’ve been avoiding. the rest of you can pour a nip of baileys’ in your coffee and call it a holiday…and let my bosses and clients know, ok?

actually, Procrastinator’s Work Day will include lots of 9-5 administrivia…things the corporate organization needs from me along with organization my corporate things need from me….corporate “things” including my poor, set adrift on a sea of hands-off management employees. i can’t fix my clients’ schedules (and i don’t mean repair…i mean fix any portion of their schedules or requirements to help in my long term planning), but i can make a good show of publicizing our chronic disorder, and maybe start a support group for sufferers of my projects.

they say the great thing about procrastination is that you always have something to look forward to. so, in essence, i’ve looked forward to this day for weeks…months even for some of these tasks…but more with obvious dread than mindfully savored anticipation. in fact, i’ve let it beat me with miniature whips of discontent and flagellation for so long, i would be numb save for the bloodletting. upon closer examination this morning, i can see that those tiny whips and the thousands of burning cuts i’m nursing are all made from little notes with the word “should” printed on each razor’s edge. today i will jump into my vat of bactine, slather on the neosporin and knock out this post-it paper monster. (i’m picturing the monster on the cover of the Office Space DVD as it collapses, its superhero costume now a soggy pile of paper and weak glue soaked with my blood, sweat and tears.)

in solemn recognition of our fallen procrastinating brethren, i vow to slay this yellow dragon monster thingy today and lay a few ineffective traps to keep its eggs from hatching and over-running my to-do box again…and i pledge to do it with flair, attitude and expression. after all, to swipe another thing someone said about procrastination….it’s the Art of keeping up with yesterday (Don Marquis). i figure that since procrastination seems more of a personality trait than a habit, and since how it seems is just one more thing determined by this blinded beholder, i must stop “suffering” my procrastination and embrace it, sell it, pretty it up and write poems about it…after all, one woman’s garbage is another woman’s art, right…i’m sure someone credible has said that too.

three cups of coffee, a pile of paper and phone numbers, a blog post done before business hours…i’m on a roll, in a role. i’m Queen of the Procrastination Parade, practicing my cupped-hand royal wave as i glide by, smiling unnaturally through vaselined teeth. feel free to join me, fall in step behind, fly your proud procastinator flags and knock out some annoying shit. or, if you’re not in the mood today, just say you’ll join me next year…or maybe the one after that.