Tag Archives: moods

sleepytime town and a storm of tempurpedic proportions

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what an odd morning. i woke in a dark room from a sad and terrible nightmare. i noticed a yellow-orange daylight peeking through tree leaves and curtain edges as i shuffled to the bathroom. downstairs, i fumbled with a fearfully small number of coffee beans, pleading with the Universe for my own fish and loaves moment, and saw the strange yellow-orange glow deepening…not like sunrise, but something more surreal.

my twelve beans ground and watered, prayers for abundance prayed, i plopped down on my couch to check some headlines and read a post or two. i heard the coffee pot plodding through its typical morning motions, water hoses stretching, dumping black-enough liquid down the yawning throat of my carafe. through the french doors to the deck, i noticed the glow grow more haunting and less natural by the minute. i double-checked my sanity and a light switch, the outdoor lights are broken, they cannot be on. right? 

having lived in lots of tornado towns and a few hurricane alleys, i felt compelled to peek at yahoo weather and then at the sky. the forecast was unremarkable, but a strange september glow permeated all of the air, all the way up  to a cloud deck unsure of its own thickness. half asleep, i dismissed the eerieness and thought about falling backwards in time…just a few more weeks until we stop saving up our daylight for the harvest.

by then, black-enough liquid was wafting its siren scent and a day’s promises through the morning air. i grabbed a cup and softly smiled at the mixture, ever grateful that my fish and loaves brewed up this strong. it won’t be a lot of coffee, but it will be good coffee…and there is a starbucks on my way to work…an office i’m actually going to today in a rare show of executive dedication. as i walked back to my laptop, the day’s deadlines, my wordpress pages and a snoring couch dog, i heard the noise, unmistakable and soothing, of a morning deluge. in the next few minutes, a few booms of thunder and a thousand buckets of rain washed that yellow-orange glow right out of the sky.

i knew it. the color of a storms coming. green electric air or orange incandescent air…they both bring up my hackles gently, like hot breath at the back of my neck. it’s calm again now, everything soaked, the air a mundane morning grey. today feels soft so far, though i suspect it will grow chaotic as more brightly lit hours approach. this mood, this morning, is unexpected after the excitement and rollercoaster ride of recent weeks. i take pause to breathe. i try to muster an enthusiasm i don’t feel, while savoring a calm i don’t often experience in the middle of a work week.

it feels like a draw-the-curtains-and-sleep-all-day kind of wednesday. that feeling couldn’t be further from the reality that’s warming up my google calendar as i type. i do get this dreamy, this sedate…when the air gets heavy enough to weigh down my eyelashes, when the world outside doesn’t want to wake up any more than i do. and here i am looking for humor and wit and brilliance to share while all i have is this soft mid-week sigh.

yawn. dream. drink. dress. do. i’ll find something to laugh about. i’ll find enough coffee and company to turn myself into the spazz we all know and sometimes love. for now, i’ll let the silence in my heart and head wrap this day in a blanket of humidity, humility and humanity.

(and as i proof this, the first sound of a real wednesday pokes  my quiet morning mind…my cat is hurling. on hardwood. oh yeah. and the coffee pot is empty already. God help me. starbucks delivery anyone?)

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clarity is in the coffee cup of the (be)holder

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mmm. sip. sip. sigh.

i woke this morning in a shiny little tuesday mood. i got my overwhelm out in yesterdayze post and got down with my master spreadsheet of lists. i feel good about where that’s going. i’ve got a special nerd flag on order for the unveiling later this week, and for what it’s worth, i’m ok with the neurosis suggested by compiling my to-do lists into a spreadsheet of many workbooks. i think i needed to succumb to the overlord within and place my feet firmly atop terra-kinda-organized.

and in an effort to flex my priorities, i carved out some time in my yesterday to see a friend, a piece of my heart, as she visited quickly and departed my metro. our lunch and laughter left me lighthearted, and inspired some musical meditation on a sunny drive home. here’s a funny thing about feeding your soul with friends, or spending some moments thinking about nothing but the exact moment at hand, the clouds in the sky, a voice lifted in out of tune appreciation…this is the kind of stuff that seems to magically insert extra time and focus into a hairy, hectic day. the “i don’t have time for this” demons settle into their back seats for a snooze cruise, hardly fighting over who i think is most important, who is an “on purpose” task and who was an “accident.” they all snore lightly, nemo snacks spilling gently onto fuzzy, sticky floor mats of accomplishment, until i get them home and into their proper routines again.

mmm. sip. sip. sigh.

so i woke today in this great mood, my responsibilities no less than yesterday, ready to plod along methodically through the rows and columns i so lovingly labeled with due dates, the sheets i marked each with a one word purpose. i opened my laptop, wondering what profound thing might come alive at the end of coffee-sweat fingers in a grand central station full of thought trains. as i scanned some internet “news,” the following words leapt from a BBC page, the foaming cappuccino thumbnail next to them swirling soft cinnamon scents from the hands of my imaginary barista:

Coffee May Prevent Depression, Scientists Say http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15059266

HaHA!! one more sign that all is right in my world! now…in the name of fair reporting, i have to say that coffee did not/has not exactly prevented depression for me, nor for some other debbie- and danny-downers i know. however, the following quote from the article made my caffeinated heart sing and the starbucks card in my pocket hum with joy:

Despite valiant efforts to show how dangerous coffee is for us, it is not proving so.

reading deeply into the article, the statistics are not as compelling as i’d like…(except for the 4-cup threshold for best-in-class depression control…thank you for the tip!)…in fact the argument for the prevention of depression is tepid at best…but no one can take what they want from statistics better than i when i try! and though this particular study makes no mention of coffee as adjunctive therapy to antidepressant medication or mood stabilizers, the raised, quivering hands of medicated and over-caffeinated respondents suggest preliminary anecdotal support for the combination.

i’ve studied this independently for years, my own uncontrolled statistics left lying around in a bowl of crazy things i wish were true, under the coupon i have for “good” gevalia coffee. it seems these days that science is validating my instincts left and right, right and left. it’s inspiring. in fact, it’s downright humbling to be so ahead of our time…to feel so gifted.

so if you haven’t figured out by now that i’ve finished almost a whole pot by myself already this morning, you clearly must needs more cups yourself. pour on, my dim-eyed morning reader…it’s about prevention, prevention, prevention! an ounce of coffee is nothing (less than a 5-hour rush!)…and if you happen to stop by your local roaster today, feel free to pick me up a pound of that cure. whole bean please…something bold. and some half and half. mmmm. sip. sip. sigh.