hey folks…there’s a parade sign up sheet in the back of tomorrow…


well, the monday funk is cleared from my house and life. the dog seems back in some digestive sorts, the trash is at the curb and i survived the day with some pretty good attitude left over. go figure. apparently life really does run smoother and is more fulfilling if you stop and smell…well…let’s say, “the moment.”

so i’m up early this morning (yay!) like i used to be every day….eyes cracking open in the still-dark moments just before the sounding of an alarm i usually ignore. it’s a perfect way to start a Procrastinator’s Work Day. i wish some of the rest of the world would take the day off..just not the customer service providers i need to accomplish all of the administrative tasks i’ve been avoiding. the rest of you can pour a nip of baileys’ in your coffee and call it a holiday…and let my bosses and clients know, ok?

actually, Procrastinator’s Work Day will include lots of 9-5 administrivia…things the corporate organization needs from me along with organization my corporate things need from me….corporate “things” including my poor, set adrift on a sea of hands-off management employees. i can’t fix my clients’ schedules (and i don’t mean repair…i mean fix any portion of their schedules or requirements to help in my long term planning), but i can make a good show of publicizing our chronic disorder, and maybe start a support group for sufferers of my projects.

they say the great thing about procrastination is that you always have something to look forward to. so, in essence, i’ve looked forward to this day for weeks…months even for some of these tasks…but more with obvious dread than mindfully savored anticipation. in fact, i’ve let it beat me with miniature whips of discontent and flagellation for so long, i would be numb save for the bloodletting. upon closer examination this morning, i can see that those tiny whips and the thousands of burning cuts i’m nursing are all made from little notes with the word “should” printed on each razor’s edge. today i will jump into my vat of bactine, slather on the neosporin and knock out this post-it paper monster. (i’m picturing the monster on the cover of the Office Space DVD as it collapses, its superhero costume now a soggy pile of paper and weak glue soaked with my blood, sweat and tears.)

in solemn recognition of our fallen procrastinating brethren, i vow to slay this yellow dragon monster thingy today and lay a few ineffective traps to keep its eggs from hatching and over-running my to-do box again…and i pledge to do it with flair, attitude and expression. after all, to swipe another thing someone said about procrastination….it’s the Art of keeping up with yesterday (Don Marquis). i figure that since procrastination seems more of a personality trait than a habit, and since how it seems is just one more thing determined by this blinded beholder, i must stop “suffering” my procrastination and embrace it, sell it, pretty it up and write poems about it…after all, one woman’s garbage is another woman’s art, right…i’m sure someone credible has said that too.

three cups of coffee, a pile of paper and phone numbers, a blog post done before business hours…i’m on a roll, in a role. i’m Queen of the Procrastination Parade, practicing my cupped-hand royal wave as i glide by, smiling unnaturally through vaselined teeth. feel free to join me, fall in step behind, fly your proud procastinator flags and knock out some annoying shit. or, if you’re not in the mood today, just say you’ll join me next year…or maybe the one after that.


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